My bags are packed, I'm ready to go...

My bags are packed and I'm ready to go.  I started this post on Wednesday night, the night before flying out to start this journey and finished it sitting in my hotel in Yangon.  There was too much going on in my mind, too many emotions were rattling around that I coulnd't write.  Thinking back about the last week, here is what I was feeling as I prepared my bags, my family and my heart for this trip  I was feeling like a fraud.  As a completely imperfect person, I felt unworthy to be going on this trip.   There are so many more people who are better teachers than I , better organizers, better lovers of people than I, but still I am going.  I am a woman who sometmes yells at my kids, who resents my husband when he wants to be served, a woman who sometimes just wants to be alone to do what I want to do.  I am selfish and a sinner, and I thought, "what good can I possiby do?".  I was also terribly excited,  that God planted in me a seed to go to the world.  TO see his people outside of the US, to love His people from all over the world.  I was also excited that God had placed me in a small group with others who have a desire to share God's love with the world and that I get to do this thing with close friends.  But, I have to admit, on Wednesday night,  as I tucked my kids in bed and talked with them about being gone for two weeks, I had to wonder if this really was such a good idea

Now that I am here, I am SO VERY THANKFUL for this opportunity to see His people, to hear about their lives and their journeys to following Christ.  It was hard to say good-bye to my family and all that is comfortable for 2 weeks and step out into the unknown.  I have never been away from my babies for that long and I know I will miss them terribly, I already do, but I know we will all learn from this trip so here I am, sitting in a hotel room in Yangon, Myanmar already feeling so blessed.      

I think this sums up how I was feeling as I packed for my trip and prepared my heart for what God would teach me through this trip and what God would have me to do while in Myanmar.  We serve a mighty God who can use anyone, including a messed up housewife in a cul-de-sac.  He can also use a people who are a very small minority of Christians in their country - I know we will speak to each other, that we will learn much from each other. in the next two weeks.